when a charity gala included an alligator race

"Genuine Florida alligators will be presented in a race across the ballroom floors. The creatures will come to New York by airplane. They will be the fastest obtainable, as time trials are being held at present on many large alligator farms in Florida. Alligators are not gifted with a strong sense of direction, so the course has been arranged that the most distance covered in the least time will determine the winner." 

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HAVE YOU EVER READ SUCH A GENIUNE PIECE OF GENIUS?!? ALLIGATORS ARE NOT GIFTED WITH A STRONG SENSE OF DIRECTION. I've never typed these words before, but I CAN'T EVEN. 

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